WOW, I finally have the internet!! I went five days without it, all because Verizon accidentally made a mistake!
So, without further ado, I give you The Six Stages of Receiving Critique (from two editors, no less, this very week).
1. Despair - you mean you hate my work? My MC's pathetic? Waaa! You must despise me! Why are you picking on me???
2. Denial - you're totally off base. You don't understand my MC. What makes you think you know her? You're reading it wrong!
3. Despair (again) - I can't write. I should give this whole thing up. We don't see eye to eye. We might as well be speaking Mandarin to Greek.... Where is the fudge??
4. Vengeance - a howitzer or a machete? Both can be a bit messy... maybe there is a reason why I live on the east coast...
5. Desperation - what am I gonna do???? I can't fix this by myself! I don't know where to begin! I can't write in this mood! All right, where's my first season of Alias?
6. Acceptance - so that's what they mean about spunk. Jennifer Garner is my she-crush. Man, my MC's such a wuss! I wonder if I could give her pink hair...
Honey! Will you pull my laptop out of the dumpster???
I thought maybe you just loved your blackberry that much
ReplyDeleteLove it! Too achingly true!
ReplyDeleteI told you-- I cried the day I got the first chapter of my thesis back from my entire committee!
ReplyDeleteBy the way-- I went without internet for two years or something. It was horrible. Does this make us pioneer women or something?
Haha, yeah, David. Let me tell you, flying internetless forced me to learn my new phone rather quickly.
ReplyDeleteGlad you can empathize, Krista. Hoped someone would. ;)
Ah, Alanna. And now you have a MASTER'S!
I often say that getting a critique is like being strapped to the bare, metal frame of an electrified matress. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteNice comparison. I love the beauty leant by a metaphor ringing truth.
ReplyDeleteNo internet? So THAT was why you were conspicuously absent? I missed my blogging friend!
ReplyDeleteIt was hard! I was going crazy! The internet is up there with food and shelter as for necessities.
ReplyDeletegirl! I so hear you!!! You know I had pretty much the same reaction even before I heard back from my editor, ha ha! Shoot myself!
ReplyDeleteDid you get the laptop out of the trash?
I feel your pain. Just when you thought you were so close to being done, the editor says, "I really liked it. All the story needs is to go in a completely different direction."
ReplyDeleteThen it feels like a rough draft all over again. Overwhelming. But you are right, the acceptance comes and then you can go on.
Hey, I just noticed this post is up on the WiDo website featured author blog page. It reads even funnier in that venue.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the commiseration, L.
ReplyDeleteYeah, Karen, nothing like threatening howitzers against my publisher on the company's own web site, eh??
No internet? That is why you needed fudge. I can't stand even sharing a computer with my husband. He is in school so he always gets first pick and I have to wait.
ReplyDeleteThat would require so much patience!! Maybe some day you guys could get His and Hers. That's what I'm conspiring for. Evenutally.
ReplyDeleteIt's so hard to receive what we feel is any kind of criticism. Hang in there, and remember that your editor is trying to make it better, not harder on you. Well, I can say this as I'm not at this stage yet...hmm....
ReplyDeleteOh, btw, I left a little something for you on my blog. Check it out. http://carol-in-print.blogspot.com/2009/11/kreativ-blogger-award.html
Aww!! Thanks, Carolina! I love my award! Anyone, check this girl out: http://carol-in-print.blogspot.com. I got the Bashful award!
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