When WiDo suggested I go by M. Gray, one of my biggest questions was 'has it been taken?' I tried Googling it, and didn't find any authors, good or bad, who'd had the nerve to steal my rightful name first. So, I considered that to be a good sign.
But today I took the next step--scouted out my library's shelves to see the authors who'd need to scoot over for my books (in my serendipitous, utopian world).
Since novels are alphabetized by last name, it was easy to find my culprit for hogging that blessed shelf space:
Emily Grayson. And can I say now that I hate her already?
But duty can be a serious thing--more of a divine calling, really. And when a girl's on a mission, she has to look out for her peeps. WiDo's contracted authors deserved equal representation, and The Bull Run Regional Library deserved a thorough audit:
Karen Jones Gowen. Woman, you best start stalking a Barbara Gowdy. That GOW last name can get pretty testy. Let me know if you need to learn my skills. I can pull a mean toilet papering exhibition.
L.A. DeVaul. You gotta beat up Devens (sorry forgot the first name) but your other arch nemesis is a Jude Deveraux. Look at her trying to be all fancy. What, does she think a French sounding name should impress us?? French, hmph. Let me know if you want some help with my pig latin! Actually, I'm incredibly irresponsible, so instead of going to bed, I'm going to take the next thirty minutes to discover what your name would be should you choose to take the high and mighty, flourishing pig latin road.
Your name? L.A. eVaulday.
Hey, it rhymes! Say it out loud! Use your hands when you say it! Makes me want to lead music!
Tamara Hart Heiner. Brace yourself--this author has four letters on you. Robert A. Heinlein. The nerve. Next thing we're gonna hear about is him claiming to have the same German roots. Don't give in to him, Tamara. Don't allow him to ride on your fame.
David J. West. Gulp. Are you ready for this, David? Because I sure wasn't when I had to make room on my puny peice of paper:
Rebecca Owen West, Nathanael West, Dorothy West, Paul West, and Scott West(erfeld). Apparently, I should have been a West. At least then I would have stood a chance of landing a spot on the shelf!!
W. Everett Prusso. Okay, your closest was Ann Purser. Nothing to be too worried about. But the other... I don't know if I can bear to say... it really is too much. THIS author has taken things too far. Thinks she needs to CHEAT to land her cozy spot on the shelf. It really makes me angry, you know? When people use winning words just to to appear better than the rest of us? Okay, deep breaths, are you ready? Because I am going to type it really fast. And hopefully I spell it right the first time, because I really don't think I can stand to go back and correct the typo should there be one. Okay. Here she is.
Rebecca Pulitzer.
How can someone have a last name like that? Apparently, folks, the best way to land a spot on the shelf is to put the title of an AWARD in your name. (David... maybe you should alter your name. David J. West Whitney. Doesn't sound too suspicious does it?)
The only one of those I have heard of is Westerfield-and I only heard of him when I started blogging because a number of people were reviewing his books.
ReplyDeleteSuppose I won't be too worried popular as he seems because of the genre diffrences.
I might have considered a pen name but its too late and I wouldn't bother now-besides I don't know what I would go with, everything that pops into my head sounds like a Bond villian.
I've always been partial to Le Chiffre myself, but your fondness for a different Bond movie might require you use Auric Goldfinger. Then you could use one of your favorite lines every day!
ReplyDeleteI knew no matter what name I picked, as long as I had Prusso at the end, I was safe to have a unique author's name. The only other published Prusso was my uncle and his book was on fungus and mushrooms!
ReplyDeleteOh Mary, you had to post about names! To tell you the truth, I'm not crazy about mine because it doesn't have that ring of cool like W. Everett Prusso and L.A. DeVaul--how cool are those names??
ReplyDeleteKaren Jones, my maiden name, is everywhere, a children's author, another one is an illustrator. All I can say is, thank heavens I'm married and got a fairly less common last name.
David J. West, now that's a tough one. There are so many out there, even with the "J" that it is unbelievable..not authors, but CEO's of major companies, lawyers, all sorts of higher ups. Still, I think it has a nice ring to it. Like M. Gray. Very nice.
Hey, thanks for doing all that research for us!
Mushrooms, huh. Man, what a horrid topic!
ReplyDeleteKaren, I would say you don't have a thing to worry about. Once in high school I had a crush on a boy with the last name of Perry. How awful would that be? My brother used to follow me around the house chanting, "Mary Perry, Mary Perry." Ugh! Mary Gray is a bit confusing. Almost looks like Mary Gary. So, yeah, I liked shortening it to M. That and it does have that whole Bond thing going on.
Funny post, Mary. =]
ReplyDeleteIf I could have any name in the world it would be L. No one would ever forget it or misspell it. And it would always be at the front of the L's. No one could compete. Muhuhahaha!!! (That is my evil Bond villian laugh.)
ReplyDeleteSo we have L. And we have M. Any takers for N. O. or P?
ReplyDelete