My left knee is swollen and purple right now; Relief Society basketball can get pretty fierce. Naw, I did it to myself, but I did save the ball from going out of bounds. With basketball on my mind, I've concocted a pretty good metaphor for a writer using adverbs. But before I share it, let's see what Stephen King said in his book On Writing:
"The adverb is not your friend.
Adverbs, you will remember from your own version of Business English, are words that modify verbs, adjectives, or other adverbs. They're the ones that usually end in -ly. Adverbs, like the passive voice, seem to have been created with the timid writer in mind. With the passive voice the writer usually expresses fear of not being taken seriously; it is the voice of little boys wearing shoepolish mustaches and little girls clumping around in Mommy's high heels. With adverbs, the writer usually tells us he or she is afraid he/she isn't expressing himself/herself clearly, that he or she is not getting the point or getting the picture across."
I also think using adverbs is like shooting the ball with your arms. What? Aren't you supposed to shoot the ball with your arms? No, your legs give the ball the needed power.
I am still learning this. I think I have used adverbs in the past, like King said, because of timidity. I've been scared the reader won't know what I'm saying, so I throw in a "beautiful" -ly word. What's more, King says adverbs are even more horrendous in dialogue attribution. Have I been guilty of this? Oh, yes. I'm still going through rehab to convince my mind this isn't lovely.
But back to my basketball metaphor. A player shoots with his arms when his body hasn't trained to shoot the proper way. So we shoot the pathetic shot, scared to death, and look like a fool in the process. Anybody else know they've looked like a fool?
Okay, so for today's comments I want to see your most "lovely" renditions of this exchange in dialogue:
"Put the laptop down!" Adam pleaded.
"What if I do?" Mary argued. "I'll just pick it up again."
"There's always rehab. Writers Wack-jobs (WW) would love to have you."
"Because you don't!"
Use as many adverbs you can squeeze out. I look forward to reading your comments!!!
I'm always up for a challenge, good lady. Let's see...
ReplyDelete"Put the laptop down immediately!" Adam pleaded somewhat pathetically, yet forcefully.
"What if I do?" Mary argued truculently and belligerently. "I'll just pick it up, more than likely."
"There's always rehab. Writers Wack-jobs (WW) would seriously love to have you."
"Because, sadly, predictably, expectedly, and unfortunately, you don't!"
Wonderfully written if I do say so myself... :)
Okay, I didn't look at the other comment. I didn't want to be blatantly influenced.
ReplyDelete"Put the laptop down carefully!" Adam pathetically pleaded.
"What if I do?" Mary argued vehemently, tossing her hair flippantly. "I'll just wantonly pick it up again."
Adam sighed exasperatedly. "There's always rehab. Obviously, Writers Wack-jobs (WW) would love to have you."
Mary haltingly sucked in her breath. "Because you don't!" she stammered quiveringly.
Hee hee, that was fun.
I don't think I can top those two! (Although I thought your set up was hilarious!)
ReplyDeleteHa. Pretty fun! Thanks for an enjoyable post. Oh, and thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting recently! (Recently ... aka ... the past several months. :)
ReplyDeleteForgot to mention, thanks for signing up to follow my blog!
ReplyDeleteThose are great examples above! I have to admit, my first manuscript is full of adverbs. I didn't mean to be timid, I think I just liked them.
ReplyDeleteAs a non-writer I'm utterly confused. How can one write clearly and expressively without adverbs? Admittedly, I thought the comments with the offending adverbs were much more interesting. (There I used lots of adverbs in my question).
ReplyDeleteSimon, I have never used the word truculently. Wow, what a word!!
ReplyDeleteKrista, any hair tossing is an automatic laugh. Wantonly, too. lol
LT, I dunno, I've seen you write!!
Cindy, thanks for stopping by!! Yay, another blogger!
Aubrie, I hear ya. I still have a soft spot for them. *sulk*
Chris, one idea I love is to choose a verb that gets the idea across without having to clarify with the adverb. For instance:
Sarah walked happily.
Sarah skipped.
Not that great of an example, but you get the idea. I read one esteemed writer say the greatest trademark of an accomplished writer is their proper use of diction. If we can say something with one word, why use two?
Also, adverbs can be inferred if a writer sets up a scene well. King talks about this--trust me, I have a long ways to go.
Not that they shouldn't ever be used. Many of us just overuse them when we should be "shooting from our legs." hehe
Also, I love a little visual too (like you Chris), to add a little color and description.
ReplyDeleteGood post and sorry about your knee but I am not good in English....
ReplyDeleteNo, worries, Avalon. Thanks for reading!!
ReplyDeleteYour blog is pure entertainment! I love it!
ReplyDeletehaha, thanks girlie!!
ReplyDeleteI think you put it perfectly M. When you shoot a basketball with your legs you still need your arms, but your arms alone won't save you.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness. I couldn't possibly top the others. Very good.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, I'm guilty of using adverbs. But I don't consider them quite as taboo as some. I think sometimes they are called for because nothing else will do. That said, replacing them with stronger verbs, nouns, and adjectives that don't require modifiers usually does result in better language all around.
Great writing exercise!
LA, nice to know I'm not completely off my rocker.
ReplyDeleteCarolina, we're of the same breed, then. I don't believe I will ever be able to fully say goodbye to my adverbs.