A Very Bleary Gong Show

I've considered writing about this, but stopped myself--repeatedly--because who wants to talk about something painful/disheartening/whiny/perhaps to many of us mortifying. But. I need to post something, express myself, and speak to you, dear readers, who, like me, are working their fannies off to land an incredible agent. And those of us trying to accomplish this feat know the process can be... hard.

*Disclaimer: Yes, the priority is writing a great book. Yes. Yes. I agree with your reminder. Thanks!*

But then an agent I greatly respect wrote up a note on this issue--an event, actually--and I've taken courage from her sympathy. Here is the link: http://agencygatekeeper.blogspot.com/. And though this particular agent prefers to remain anonymous on her blog, we attended the same writers conference this weekend and participated in the same big event: The Gong Show.

What is this? The Gong Show allows writers to submit queries (anonymously) to a panel of agents who hit a gong when they would stop reading. Most of the queries barely made it past two or three lines. After attending The Gong Show the first day and seeing a few requests for manuscripts, I took heart and submitted my newly polished query for the second event. All other classes were cancelled for this second Gong Show and approximately 350 people packed into one room, many of us on edge, eager to laugh at a silly word or turn of phrase. And we know what crowds are like: laughter is contagious.

Now. This was a learning experience. This was valuable. I think I learned a great bit. But what happened when they read my query? They didn't get past two lines. This is how it went:

Reader: Mind control is typically left to the vampires, angels, and immortals, but in Olivia's world it's the power of Aristotle's descendants--the Ethos, Logos, and Pathos--who persuade others through morality, logic, and emotion.

Two agents: *GONG!*

Agent #1: Vampires! No more vampires!

Another agent: But it said it's NOT about vampires.

Agent #1: Well then I don't appreciate it that they used that word just to peek my interest. That's a turnoff.

Reader (continuing query): Olivia loves causes. So much that her idea of ecstasy is donating blood--

Another agent (who previously correctly said the story wasn't about vampires): *GONG!* Okay, I've donated blood maybe hundreds of times and that is not my idea of ecstasy!

Crowd: *Peels of laughter*

And, because three agents hit their gongs, they moved on to the next query.

Now. Did I learn something? Yes. Some agents cannot bear to hear the "v" word, no matter the context, no matter that I was showing that I understood where in the market my book stood and how it varied from the others. Also, some agents can be immediately turned off by character descriptions they cannot personally understand. (Though, that is what makes Olivia different. She loves donating blood. She's obsessed with philanthropy... but I guess this particular detail did not impress this agent.)

So I cried. A lot. Frustrated? Ha! It wasn't like I've worked on this story/query/pitching for the past three years. I haven't invested anything in it. I didn't work on that first line for months. I haven't stayed up late at nights doing everything I can to perfect this story/pitch. Three years? Who cares! It's nothing, right?

And now reading over this little instance I immediately think, "Mary, lighten up. It was one little instance. Who cares!"

Yet I am wounded. Will I bounce back? Yes. But yesterday, while driving home, I must honestly admit I truly believed I possibly would not. I'm about to have my third kid; I should've taken up scrapbooking, something less frustrating when little ones won't sleep.

Yet the conference was great; I made three new friends. Local friends at that. But this (and a few other instances at the same said conference) did test my endurance. I never truly understood the cliche of standing in front of an audience naked until yesterday. NOW I know.

Whaddya think--will it make me a richer, deeper person? Of course, of course. If I take this in stride, of course it will. But this is tough. Finding an agent may never happen, yet writing is what I love to do most.

So, what say you, dear readers? Have you ever experienced something like this? Yes, I know I'm probably overreacting. (Please don't point that out in your comments. I haven't quite hit that step in my reaction process yet.) So tell me what you think of this event. Is it worth the pain?